The Journey Begins

Ever since I was a baby, I’ve been involved in church. I can’t remember a time when it felt normal to not be in church. I was baptized at a very young age, and until I was a freshman in high school, I remember being on fire for Jesus. At one point, I remember being a church camp and thinking, “Wow, I want to be in this environment forever.” At the time I had wanted to be a worship leader because music has always been a huge part of my life.
It was at this time that I began to experience opposition from others in my youth group. Things were being said to me like, “You think you can do this certain thing, and still serve God? You think you’re worthy?” Of course, I am a sinner and I am not worthy of God, but these were people who were supposed to be supporting me and instead they were singling me out, condemning me, and making me feel downright awful. It was at this time I started to shy away from God and the Church. Then, my family unexpectedly packed up and moved 2 hours away from my hometown. I experienced a lot of pain in this new place; bullying, depression, and an overall rough experience. I began to turn even further away from God, not having the desire to attend church or even believe in God any longer. This went on for years, until I graduated high school and moved back to my hometown.
When I moved home, I was excited to start attending my hometown church, the church I did so much growing up in and got to really know God. However, I soon learned it wasn’t going to be what I thought it was. I no longer felt welcome there. People from my hometown and that church had an opinion about me, and it wasn’t particularly nice. I felt ostracized in church and it was distracting for my worship. While there were a few families who welcomed me with open arms, they were far and few in between.
As life usually goes, I experienced more hurt and pain in this town. Not particularly from the Church, just from things that come in life; lost friendships, damaged relationships, etc. I found a new church to attend and this is where the fire was lit. I finally felt welcomed at a place of worship and I was able to focus solely on God and what he was speaking to me. I attended this church for a few months before I relocated to San Marcos for college.

When I moved here, I was looking for a church but not very diligently. I finally began to get frustrated and learned that I was not a person that could stay away from church for very long. It just didn’t feel normal to not be in church on a sunday morning, and I felt God pulling on my heartstrings. So one saturday night at 3 AM, I did a google search for churches in the area and happened upon a website for a church named Eikon. I decided to visit not expecting what was about to happen.

From the moment I pulled into the parking lot, I felt welcomed. The worship was spectacular, and the series they happened to be doing directly related to my life. After my second sunday there, I knew it was my new church home. Why would God have me wait so long to find a church, and then provide me with the perfect series relative to my life at this very important time? It was not coincidence or chance – God’s timing is forever perfect. Last Sunday, the lesson was beautiful and it spoke directly to me. It was a very emotional service for me, and by the end of the service I had made a decision to let God back into my life. I had spent the past 5 or 6 years running in the complete opposite direction, telling God I didn’t need Him, that I could handle what was going on in my life. It was time for me to let God in, give Him full control of my life, and fix the brokenness inside of me. I told Him that I trusted Him fully with my life and the direction He would lead me in.

Next sunday, I will make this decision public by being baptized and rededicating my life. I can already feel The Lord making changes in my life, and I’m so excited for what’s to come in the future. Thank you to everyone who has been in constant prayer for me over the past few years. It has obviously paid off.

God’s timing is forever perfect. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares The Lord, “plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future.”

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One thought on “The Journey Begins

  1. […] Finally, I left where I was. I got dumped and cut myself for the last time on July 27th of 2014. 20 days later, I packed up my things and drove 8 hours south to my new home. It’s been almost a year that I’ve been clean of self-harm. That problem is a whole different blog post, but I will say briefly that it is not easy. To this day I still battle with that addiction, and I believe that I always will. When I moved here, I wasn’t attending church but soon enough I felt a yearning for God. I found a new home in a church called Eikon, and shortly after I was baptized and involved in host team, a tribe (small groups) and trying my best to be a living example of Christ. You can read about how I found Eikon and the beginning of my journey here. […]

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